Bob & Betty

This is my contribution to the seasonal celebration of all things dark.  This little punny story makes me smile.

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing near Transylvania.  They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car.

Suddenly the car skidded out of control! Bob attempted to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerved and smashed into a tree. Moments later, the dazed Bob looked over at the passenger seat and saw his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knew he had to carry her to the nearest phone.

Bob carefully picked his wife up and began trudging down the road. After a short while, he saw a light. He headed towards the light, which was coming from an old, large house. He approached the door and knocked. A minute passed. A small, hunched man opened the door. Bob immediately blurted out, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. May I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"

So, while the hunchback fetched his master, Bob carried his wife in.

Shortly, an elegantly dressed man descended the stairs and addressed Bob, saying, "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor.  I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picked up Betty and carried her downstairs, with Bob following closely behind.  As Igor placed Betty on a table in the lab, Bob collapsed from exhaustion and from his own injuries. Igor picked up Bob and placed him on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looked worried.

"Things are serious for the Hills, Igor.  Please prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbed the steps to his conservatory, which houses his ancient pipe organ. For it is here that he has always found solace. He began to play and the dark melody began to fill the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is downstairs in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement! The fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting organ music. Stunned, he now sees Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! Moments later he is shocked as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashed up the stairs to the conservatory. Bursting into the room, Igor began shouting, …




wait for it …



wait for it…




Are you ready?….






"Master, Master! The Hills are alive with the sound of music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"




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11 thoughts on “Bob & Betty

  1. Eeeeeeeeek! What a horrible story! Neighbors, get your torces and follow me! There she is, see her, running up the path to her castle, cackling in glee at our reactions! Get her! Get her!
    My dad loved those kind of stories, GP. I miss hearing them, so thanks.

  2. Dear Madeline. Can I help it if your quick mind and intuitive skills ruin a good pun for you? Alas, brilliance has its drawbacks doesn't it?
    I like your blog, by the way. Oh, and the recent post of your music was great too.

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