Eighteen – A Couple of Short and Disjointed Thoughts

Does this mean I can vote?

Eighteen years ago this month, I began to repent and turn to God.  The result was the eventual turning from my various gay attractions, rampant lying, fear-driven reactions and general weirdness. (I’m still weird.)  In short, I was not in a good place.  People talk at times of “healing” or “deliverance” from homosexuality, immorality, addictions and whatever.  My experience has not been a zip-boom-bah approach of instant change.  My journey has been MANY changes and many moments of truth leading to change.  I have never been one to experience any kind of instant, make-the-gay-go-away moments.  Each place of repentance has changed me completely.  Add up all the complete changes…and I’m perfect?

I weary of the all-or-nothing way of communicating about the Christian leaving homosexuality.  Every other thing a PERSON does to change ANYTHING is a progressive series of decisions and changes.  All one needs to do is make a budget and try to keep that budget to see clearly just how many decisions must follow the one decision.

Eighteen is a pretty big number.  What I once was, I am no longer.  This isn’t deep, but it is true.

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21 thoughts on “Eighteen – A Couple of Short and Disjointed Thoughts

  1. This is why I look up to you, Laura Leigh. As one who still has a pretty clear view of the starting line, I am always encouraged by your perspective on this whole crazy journey that we are on. Your words are always filled with grace. They always give me hope which helps me to keep pressing on.
    Congratulations on 18 years!! HIS work is so evident in your life.

  2. Eighteen years is a long time. If your repentance were a person it could buy cigarettes at 7-11 now… but it wouldn't because it would know better. ;)Repentance from ANY sin is not all-or-nothing… as you say, it is a sanctification process, not an on/off switch. Thanks to Jesus for your redemption, to the Father for hand-picking you, and to the Spirit for sanctifying you and sealing your redemption more securely than any Ziplock baggie. (The fruit of the spirit in you is like the Ziplock seal turning green, letting others know you are sealed. Yes, I know this is corny!) The Bible says the angels rejoice when a sinner comes to God… I bet they do "Birthdays" too!Happy spiritual Birthday to you. 🙂

  3. Thank you for sharing this wonderful testimony. And for being"real" & transparent before God. Sanctification IS a process. HIS forgiveness & forgetfulness (yeah!) is instant, it's us (we?) who have to fight the good fight daily to overcome our past & put on the whole armor to protect ourselves from all those external influences that work to trip us up. Your blog has always been an encouragement to me. Now I understand better why that is! May God continue to bless you & fill your cup to overflowing as you strive to be his obedient and loving child. He is your Abba, & you can always climb up into His lap to be held & comforted. Praise God!

  4. I think you are having a difficult time reading. 😦 Where sin is present each person is called to repent and turn. (THAT's in the bible. Look it up!) I welcome your prayers for my continued repentances. Let me clarify to your "watchful" self that I left my little lesbian self a long time ago and have not been back to visit. Jesus has washed me clean and I am clean. I have exchanged my old desires for new ones (a good trade) and had my hardened heart made in to one that is frighteningly soft. I've turned into quite a confident person regarding who I've become. Take some time to get to know me….oh, and continue to pray. 😀

  5. Okay. Am I slow or something? What does Ted Haggard have to do with anything I've been talking about? What have I said that indicated that I didn't think homosexuality was evil…or, more specifically, what are you trying to say to me?

  6. I'm blessed to have you as my mentor. I'm thankful that Jesus brought you into my life so that I could see the way back to the foot of the cross and to the forgiveness that was just patiently waiting for me there.
    The race that we have chosen to run is not an easy one. There are people in the pro-gay movement that jeer at us to quit fighting against "IT"… Which just makes me more stuborn NOT to quit fighting against "IT"… and then there are those people that believe they are watchmen on the wall and can't help themselves as they hurl a stone or two our direction as we race pass on our road to freedom from sin…. personally those stones just make me run faster towards the safe loving arms of Jesus who died to set me free from "it" and it makes me even more thankful for people like you that truely are watchmen on the wall crying out the way to the Shepherd of our Souls.

  7. I took a course at my church called "Just Walk Across the Room" about personal evangelism. The course focused on learning to tell one's testimony in a brief and clear way. Your testimony here is very clear. Thank you for sharing. 🙂 Happy 18th!

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