They Respected Our Stories

This story aired while we were at conference.  This is a new experience for all of us.  For me, it was amazing that our stories were respected.  It is very usual that when someone who has left homosexuality tells their story, the media generally reports it in a way similar to this:

“Today we talk to some Oklahoman’s who claim to have left homosexuality.”

This slant is the typical way our stories are told.  What we say comes with qualifiers and a bias that suggests a question.  I rejoice that we were correctly represented overall.

Many years ago I did an interview for the local TBN station’s “Praise The Lord” show.  Even that interview wasn’t this kind or concerned with correctly representing our story.

Dr. Scott Jones participated in this story as well.  He has stated in his personal blog that his position was not correctly represented.  Out of respect for him, I am including a link to his post so that you can see what he felt was not said correctly.  Please do me a favor and read his comment.  I’ve felt what he feels too.  He feels that the story was slanted.  I can only assume that he is right.  It really was favorable to our stories.

I will say that the story opened with comments of controversy and opposition and stated the popular position regarding those who try to change.  I will point out that Dr. Jones’ comments (as edited) stated that he sees no purpose or benefit for people seeking change.  He also indicated that there were both theological and medical reasons to oppose the case for change.  In short he states that seeking change in the area of homosexuality is unscriptural and harmful.

Today, I rejoice that it wasn’t theology nor medicine which determined my course but an intimate, on-going relationship with Jesus Christ which has determined my journey.  I also rejoice with my brothers and sister who are walking this journey with me.

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30 thoughts on “They Respected Our Stories

  1. I have shared the newscast with many, many people. (Christian and non-Christian) I felt it presented truth. Strangely, when people have commented back to me regarding the article, their words are few but ALL (without exception) have used the word POWERFUL in reply. I agree.

  2. It's nice to hear that the program was balanced and that your stories were respected. I have one little nitpick, though (don't I always?) 😉
    You said: This slant is the typical way our stories are told. What we say comes with qualifiers and a bias that suggests a question.
    I won't question the fact that ex-gay stories are told with a slant and a bias, and that's a real shame, but I've also noticed that some Exodus affiliates use those same kinds of qualifiers and biases when talking about GLBT individuals. I'm not speaking of you here, because I haven't noticed this with you, but I have seen it expressed in small, somewhat condescending ways like saying "gay-identified" instead of simply gay, or constantly doubting GLBT individuals who say they are happy and content just the way they are, or even denying the existence of homosexuals at all (the whole "straight people with gay problems" thing). We need to work hard to look at bias within ourselves first, and after that we can expect fairness from others.

  3. This was really great. I'm so glad that this was presented in more of a 'positive' light than some interviews, but the news dude seemed a little less enthusiastic and encouraged by it. Oh well…the liberal media at play. Thanks for sharing – this was good.

  4. Well, that flip-flop of lingo has really emerged in response to the way the ex-gay is typically depicted. Some have try to relate through the adaption of lingo. Most of what you are saying about that has already passed by. It hasn't really stuck. It is not typical. It does work for some when referring to their own journey, e.g. "I am no longer gay-identified." Bob Davies said this several years ago (and he may have been quoting someone else) when he said, "The position that creates the lingo will win the debate." I often wonder if that is true. The one who is formerly gay definitely fights an uphill battle with the lingo. We simply DO NOT have the ear of entertainment or the secular media. And, we do not have an ear of understanding with the general Christian community either.Thanks always for your comments, Jay.

  5. Well, I think that the story was slanted toward the idea that becoming 'gay no more' could be possible. (That title cracks me up, btw.)
    It seems to me, as it does you, though, that the regular media usually slants the other way, toward the current PC version 'gay is ok'.
    And that's fine, I think. People reporting stories have an opinion. The way they report will slant toward that opinion. When I blog, there's a definite bias. I hope, anyway, that my writing is clear about what I believe.
    There is a difference in slanting and misquoting. If Dr. Jones was misquoted, I'm sorry for that.
    But, you First Stoners did an excellent job with the interview. I think Truth clearly spoke through.
    I love First Stone Ministries!

  6. Kudos and blessings to you over and over again, Sis, for this post…for this blog site. You and those with First Stone Ministries (and others like it) are a prime example of what it means to pick up our cross and follow Christ.Sis, regardless of the slant, I disagree whole-heartedly with Dr.
    Jones' statement about ministries like First Stone being theologically
    and medically inappropriate…so strongly, in fact, that I submitted a
    post on his blog page, with some challenging questions.God bless you and please extend my gratitude and blessings to those with First Stone Ministries.Love to you all,Judy

  7. It is so rare for new lifer's to walk away from a media interview feeling that their contribution was fairly portrayed. This is great news. Thanks for posting.

  8. My heart pains for you GuitPicken61. I hope one day you'll realise that your brokeness, your obvious deep hurt, didn't come because you liked a woman. I'm sorry for you, and your lost perspective. One thing is still true though, God loves you, He always has.

  9. Well, I listened to your video clip from SoulForce. I met Darlene not too far into my journey. I read her books. For me, she lacks credibility. She is famous, I guess. She writes books about whichever perspective she is currently living. I also consider that she began an unethical relationship and was dismissed from ministry because of it. She has admitted and asked forgiveness from those she hurt. Michael was unfaithful and so was his partner. SoulForce is teaching a mixed bag of belief. I went to your page as well. The contents of your page negates your message to me. I looked for the "perspective" you spoke of and was not able to find it.In defense of YOUR concerns, the news report edited our stories as they saw fit. The distilled version of my story does not reflect the journey with Jesus. I had been a Christian for 3 years and RELIGIOUS for many more years before I entered into that last, addicted-to-my-girlfriend relationship. More telling in my story is that I lived a life of hypocracy BEFORE–not because of my homosexual leanings but because of my hidden ways in every area of my life and that included my hidden homosexuality and sexual addiction. So, I want you to know that the news story was far, far, far from the WHOLE story for any of the four of us.

  10. Michael and Darlene are far from being the only "ex-gays" that have been hurt and damaged by groups Exodus International promote, the testimonies are heart breaking and many, but I guess you don't want to see those. I believe those who should be in the forefront of the debate should be those who have left being “ex-gay” and now embrace Salvation with a gay identity. They of all people know what it’s like being “ex-gay” and its resulting failure being played out to its end.
    The stated truth is still true no matter WHO says it, what is on my website does not take away from that, to bad you feel it does. I have addressed the half truths, bold face lies, and double speak from those in the ex-gay movement on several posting on my blog.
    From my own personal experience with those ex-gay men and women who seek to change, a vast majority of them come from abusive backgrounds with drugs, alcohol and promiscuity playing no small part. They link these behaviors with their homosexual feelings instead of seeing these specific behaviors for what they simply are; bad behaviors, regardless of orientation. Never will a happy homosexual seek out groups like Exodus.Your a perfect example with what you call your "hidden" homosexuality and sexual addiction.

    Like I said in my post about Michael Ensley, I see people like you as the walking wounded.

  11. Well, I appreciate that you have taken time to take me to task.Romans 2 reminds us that is is God's kindness that leads us to repentance. Repentance is a tough call even IF it is motivated by God's kindness. It is a miscarriage of the love of God to assert that would never address the things at the core of the human. Jesus even addressed NOT just the bad behavior but the feelings of the heart. He judged the pharisees for it and taught that adultery and murder (committed) is certainly bad…but hatred and lust in the heart is JUST as bad.Certainly there have been issues even in the ministries to those who seek to leave homosexuality (for whatever motivation). I do not agree that their existence is wounding in itself. I also don't know where someone who does not know me can assert with such certainty that I am "the walking wounded." I was. I have been. As I bring those issues to Jesus, I am much more truly the walking recovered. I do not live my life in the pain of my bad choices or confusions of the past. I live in freedom in my MIND. I live in clarity in my MIND. THAT is the measure I measure my freedom by. My MIND is clear. My conscience is clean. I don't live angry or offended. That is the measure.

  12. I appreciate the time you take to keep writing me.
    I also agree with your first two paragraphs, but I'm still wondering what it had to do with what I said.
    I truly hope you found peace of mind, but I hope It wasn't at the cost of losing who you are. I know many people who have clarity and and a clean conscience, they don't live angry or offended, but I can also tell you God had nothing to do with them reaching that freedom. I hope your measure is a true one.

  13. I wrote those first two paragraphs in response to your assertion that the "behaviors" of drug addiction or whatever is bad behavior and then the idea that there is a basic difference between simple bad behavior and being gay. I was responding that Jesus taught that the inside of the person and the behavior of the person were the same and worthy of repentance. Maybe I mis-spoke.Maybe you can explain to me how this works? What does it mean when someone says, "God made me gay?" What does that mean? How is this validated? What is the evidence? Since the conversations of the gay Christian and much of the rest of the Christian community will come back to this assertion, what does it mean?

  14. You didn't mis-speak, now I know what you where getting at. : )
    Being gay doesn't lead to bad behaviors, that's all there is to it. A disproportionate number of ex-gays have had abuse, emotional, and sexual issues by their own admittance. Instead of seeking help with these issues, including coming to God with them, they see the ROOT of the problem as homosexuality itself, the catch-all boogie man. Getting "rid" of the homosexuality is like throwing the baby out with the bath water, it didn't need to be done.
    Now to answer your question…
    God does not pre-set in us inclinations that are sinful at birth, the Word states that. When an anti-gay Christian says to a homosexual "God did NOT make you gay," he is saying the Bible states homosexuality is wrong, therefore, God is not going to make you into something He condemns, It HAS to be a choice (being gay), because if it isn't, God is tempting you to sin, something He says He never does.
    A homosexual will state I had no CHOICE, my earliest feeling were for the same sex even before I even knew what they were, no choice was involved, so therefore, God made me gay because I didn't do it to myself. If we have concrete proof with science people are prone to be gay because of genetics for example, it proves the homosexual's claim he was born with that inclination and that makes homosexuality not bad or sinful in and of itself. I think there is ample evidence with the Bailey/Pillard twin study to make that case as with the Savic/Berglund pheromone study.

  15. I only have two words for the absurd "ex-gays"… TED HAGGARD.Speaking of Mike Ensley (now calling himself Philip Michael Ensley), have you seen what he's up to nowawdays? So naughty. LOL.

  16. Well, I had wondered where in the heck you had been. Re: Ted from my end it was questionable since he tried the bada-bing-bada-boom and I'm healed approach. I don't know anyone else of integrity that has made a claim like he did. But, there are a lot of us who "claim" to have left homosexuality and are doing rather well for extremely long periods of time.Re: MikeYes! Gasp! He has done some male models. Oh for shame! 😀 Perhaps you (Madonna, the lurker) are the kinky one. You are consumed with our little fringe group. Why don't you just take yourself off my list. I'd be just SO grateful.

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